Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming!

Her name is Amaiyah Harmoney Lykes, and like the cutest little cousin i have ever seen in my life. (Well you know, besides her sister Saniyah and my baby Niq Niq) But you get the point. It's been a while since my family has had a real BABY again. I was the first one, then Nay Nay, then Natalia etc.. But wow! She was born in Brooklyn Hospital aka the hospital where her Uncle Ivie works in. I'm so curious as to how this one will say my name. I've been called Yah Yah, Yie, Hey? [shrug] But i hope i get yet another cute nickname from this one. I like the nicknames from babies cuz it's so cute how they don't know how to say your name yet. My family calls me everything..Pumpkin, Pooh, Baby Girl, Ma, Mommy, Puddin Pie, and my personal favorite Slim... And my friends call me Yaz, Yazzy, Cousin, Sister, LEGS, and my other favorite that NOBODY CAN CALL ME A DAY IN THEIR LIVES IS DEW! i JUST LOVE THAT NAME! A very special friend named me that. Sigh, things are looking up finally. My bestie is cool, school is a breeze, and..the rest as they say is history ;P I love when i don't have to cry myself to sleep at night, when i know my life is where it should be..so. I'm just drinking some eggnog. Shout to Amaiyah, SMILEY *love ya*, and everybody else out there. Dew out! :-* <----Kisses!

Random Depression

I'm so crazy that i had to blog twice today! Ugh, i hate this feeling of insanity and depression! I want..to be free. Like this is so hard to explain. I have been locked up in my house all day and it's like...you miss things, people, life. I miss like my number one bestie right now and like..OMG! This always is problem. I did everything today. Listened to music, watched videos, aimed, danced, sang, rocked out, called people, eat. What else am i supposed to do?! I'm so freaking depressed now.. It's like an emotion that's hard to describe. You're mad, sad, angry, annoyed, and affectionate all in one jam packed emotion. I have no idea what to do with myself. I don't wanna go to my grammas because that is not my happy place anymore. I go even crazier over there. I for darn sure i do not want my father because all he does is tell me how old i'm getting then we have our awkward father and daughter talks and moments. Like ok dad i get it i'm older and you want to be the only man in my life. Yeah daddy i get it, you want me to be single for the rest of my life! NOT! I think i need my old cousin back. Nay Nay was everything although now we have a weird relationship, but still! That's like my twin. She understands me other than my #1 bestie. sigh..i'm losing it. Let it be Monday already!I miss school for once! Yazzy Wazzy is outtie. DEUCES TO MY CUTIES :-* <----Kisses

Top of My Game!

Awwww shoot! I got another brat in the family! But this one is gonna be so cute! Another girl of course, her name is Amaya or however you spell her name. Her sister named her yet she's only 5 herself. Anyways, what can i say? Hope she's a PYT! Life just gets sorta better i guess. Thankful to be alive and just live life to the fullest. That's all you can ever do ya know? Mom is well mom. I avoid her so really i can care less. My daddy is being his tough rican self. How typically normal of him.. Tell me how Ivan keeps like flaking out on the family? Like, are we that bad because i know we can be..well not me. It's all good because you know why? I was the entertainment yesterday night! Did the perfect MJ impression in the middle of Grammas living room! And what Ivie?! Top that for Christmas! Drunk off that eggnog you already know...drunks do anything ;P "You make my love come down!" Yazzy Wazzy is outtie! DUCES. :-* <----Kisses

Feeling Great

I so have to be on here more, not like i forget it, but i just have to have more time on my hands. So...really not much going on nowadays. Oh! I wore this cute new vest today, and it was so Demi Lovato-ish. How cool was that?! And i love saying "Shh don't tell noooobody!" Like i love saying that! With the voice and all. And lately, I've been feeling so loved, but only by certain peoples... Oh well, they love me right? What can go wrong? =D

Twisted Kind of Days..

Today was supposed to be like the best day of my life.. NOT! Today was wack.. See, this kinda stuff would never happen at Lincoln! There's more privacy and alone time. Nowadays, i never get a break. People are always on me or around me and it's really annoying. I mean grades can NEVER be a problem for me, but everything else is. Alone time is MY alone time and is not supposed to be shared. Sometimes i just wish i could be isolated from the rest of the world and just pursue what best makes me happy. Don't get me wrong i love my friends and everything, but i can't be with them all the time. Just back up and give me my space is all i ask. No disrespect. And thanks to them and stupid school, today was the worst day of my life.. How do people actually expect me to be happy? I haven't been happy since 6/11/09. I had real freedom, and that day was called the Dude Ranch. The place where i had quality time before and after it was over..

Sesame In Da Street..

That's better now! Like i was saying, do you remember these guys? Well, i do. This was my show back in the day. (way back when) I loved this show so much that i broke the tape and i started to cry, but it was my fault...

Remember them? OK, OK maybe not like that.. Lol, but i thought these guys were funny!! Ha ha they look so evil, and Grover has a cigarette in his mouth?!?!? Hahahaha.. Funny!

Go On, Don't Be Scared.. We Going Full Speed Ahead!

Everyday, things seem to get deeper with your piers and besties ya know? Wow... Tomorrow I'm gonna go hang out with some besties down at my old school. I'm hoping it's gonna be live, and not suckish. I'm expecting to see odee people as well, but knowing me, things never go as planned. We'll see, and I'll try to blog about what happens if i can. I try to keep you up to date about what goes on in my life. I know you are probably thinking i have issues, but trust me i know people's lives who are 10x worse. Imagine that! Haven't been sleeping lately because SOME of my "reality is finally better than my dreams," but that's not too often. I have a lot of things going on my mind which makes it hard to fall asleep at night. If only i had control of the things that go on around me, and to control people's movement and actions, i would have had everything i ever wanted or needed by now.. I want so many things, and just forget about the "impossible", or the "rules and regulations." Like seriously, are those are what we really are afraid of in life? Live long and prosper as Captain Spock would say..(I'm not a Trekkie) Don't worry about the little things that can come up, live in the moment, and be like Nike and "just do it." Full speed ahead..

Everything About Me...

Everyday it seems as if I'm starting to find myself more and more ya know? Like, you pull out those family photos and you start to realize who you and your family is.. My family is straight from down south, what can i say? I mean they are from Virginia (VA stand up), North Carolina(Hollister stand up) and Georgia (Augusta to be exact). Does that make me southern? Uhhhhhh, NO! I am straight New York, i can't even relate to the southerners. I've been down there and it is so awesome i must say, but of course i was there for a limited time. Funeral go figure, had to miss three days of school..you get the point. Where does this leave me, though? I still have no idea what or who i am anymore. I feel like I've lost everything just about, and it never gets better. Don't let my smile and somewhat clear head get to you. Everyday you may see me and say there is nothing wrong. But deep inside, my mind is screaming and crying at me for the things I've seen and went through. As a kid, i never thought anything like this would ever happen to me. My life was flawless then, yet gradually my life was getting worse..without me even knowing. This year, I've lost friends (besties), 6 family members, a father who had a heart attack and lives, and most importantly i have lost myself in the making. To me there is no such thing as happiness unless I'm with the right people.. God bless the people i am happy with. I love them and can't afford to lose them because they are all i have left. I love you! "Nothing is ever promised tomorrow today, this is it"