Today's Thoughts

Yeah so I'm back. I know it's been a minute and there's so much to catch up on.. As of right now, i wanna know why people argue over opinions? Those arguments could last for hours, days, months because there's so much to say. There's so much detail in proving how you feel is right. But look back on that. Doesn't it sound and look stupid? It makes no sense. There's no point in it either. Do you have facts, or the proper prior knowledge? How do you know if your opinions is right? YOU DON'T. That's the beauty of an opinion, nobody can be right or wrong. So don't argue, just accept it. Swallow your pride and roll with the punches. Get over yourself, and keep it moving because you guys look like some idiots!

Song Of The Day- *The Usual*

"Get it all different kind of ways. All different places. Look at the many little faces you making. But can you take it?"

Song Of The Day- *Loving You No More*

"You stand out, i can hear you whistle in a choir. And that's the only reason you're the Mrs. i admire. Damn. Tell me what I'm gone do. Since everything I'm trying to forget is all true. Me and all your main girls get along too. I would take my last dollar out and bet it on you."

Song Of The Day- *Monster*

"Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong, Lochness, Goblin, Ghoul, a zombie with no conscience."

Song Of The Day- *I Like*

"I'd like to take the time to love your body. Rub your body, kiss, and hug your body. Girl say ohh ohh i like, ooh ooh i like.."

Today's Thoughts

You know, sometimes you can't grasp it because it happens so fast. Other times you're too young to fully understand that a person's gone. When you get older, i think that's when it hurts the most because now you've experienced it and you can understand. It's something you can't take back. No amount of "I'm sorry's" is gonna bring my gramps, or Aaliyah back in my picture. Why did Aaliyah take that flight? I don't know.. Why and how do we develop cancer and not know it until it's at its last stage? I don't know.. Most of us die from natural causes, but you know what i say? God must've needed you way more than we did because he took you guys away from us. Both of you guys were angels to me. Angels that i looked up to, angels that i came to for inspiration. And i took advantage of that. When i was younger, death never made me cry. I didn't believe, i couldn't understand it. It didn't bother me, and I'm sorry for that. But now I've come to realize that death is no joke. It keeps you on your toes. It's got me running scared because i was put in several situations that would either go perfectly fine, or get beyond ugly. Hell yeah, I've seen a gun before. Scariest thing i ever seen in my life! But at the same time, i rather see the gun, than to see death take control of me. I've lived through several catastrophes, but I'm still standing strong. Now I'VE become other peoples inspiration. Now I've become an angel on Earth..

Youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E14kNqMwD6s&feature=fvhl omg! I'm sorry but lmaoo at this one! So good, i had to blog about it no doubt! Lol, wow... This is crowned one of the most stupidest things anyone has ever done!

Song Of The Day- *Dirty Girl*

"And baby all night i been standing here watching you. And i been mesmerized by everything that you do girl.  And the way you grinding wanna take you flying to my island and show you how we get down."

Today's Thoughts

GET ON YOUR TWITTER FLOW!! ASAP!..

Nike Time..

'I am Iron Man!! Hero Up!'

Song Of The Day- *Hot Toddy*

"We did it Indian style had the girls speaking in tongue. She like, 'Young you hung what you done done? Stop before you wake up my mom i might..(ahhh)' Now that I've arrived it's time that i go.. I'm so cold, I'm so cold.."

Song Of The Day- *Can't Be Friends*

"And i wish i never felt so deep in love with you now there ain't no way we can be friends."

Today's Thoughts

You know, women feel so degraded sometimes. I see the way they carry themselves with such little respect. If you're a woman and you say things like "I'm the baddest bitch. I'm the queen B. I'm the head bitch of the movement" you have no respect for yourself. For one thing, you're calling yourself a dog. Is that the way you see yourself? When you consider yourself a bitch, guess what, people will treat you the way you allow them to. People will treat you the way you treat and carry yourself. Your showing an image of ignorance because you're totally unaware of the situation. And for the women out there who think they are bitches, refer themselves as bitches, you're simple. Society has changed. It's not so open-minded anymore. People will discriminate people like that and i don't allow people like that to be apart of my life. If people in general have no self-respect, what makes you think they have respect for other people?

Song Of The Day- *Holding You Down (Goin' In Circles)*

"It's a shame that you don't care enough to even give me half the love i give to you.."

Song Of The Day- *Speakin' In Tungs*

Song Of The Day- *ROCKSTAR 101*

"So baby take me in. I'll disobey the law. Make sure you frisk me good, check my panties and my bra."

Today's Thoughts

If you know you're doing something you're not supposed to, or hiding something from somebody, why the hell aren't you subtle about it? Like, you're not low, but you sink pretty low from where i stand. You make it mad obvious. I swear adults are stupid. Not all, but the majority of them are. You think kids don't take health class anymore or something? Did you forget how old i was? Or are you just plain stupid? Ignorant maybe? Something has to be wrong, if you think i'm lacking knowledge in this situation. I'm not an idiot. See, what people should know is, you mess with my emotions, the dark side will come outta me. When that dark side is out, y'all better run for the light cause you're dead. I will treat you worse than dirt. I have people who've been on that dark side before, not a pretty place.. And the amount of disrespect you show me?! That's alright, i got something for you. ALL OF YOU, will pay for this one way or another. And i don't even seek revenge, i have people that will pay you back for the amount of disrespect in pain you've shown me in the past 10 years. The dark side is out, and i think it wants to stick around and play with a few people for a while.. Hahaha, enjoy : )

Song Of The Day- *Letting Go (Dutty Love)*

"And if i come over there, I'll lock up them lips. Yo, i feel like letting go."

Song Of The Day- *Like A Virgin Again*

"If i get it imma hit it right. I know you tired, it's the middle of the night. Wanna give you that good love. Fall in love with me shorty, you just might.."

I Miss You-*Snippet Only*

Everyday is a struggle to get my mind to focus
Everyday is so hard just to get myself to notice
That you're not here, i only see you in my dreams
Wishing that you were near, living in fear as it seems






A 4 LINE SNIPPET..

TO BE CONTINUED..

Today's Thoughts

So you know how when your mom's in labor with you. Her water broke and she's in the hospital pushing you out, right? Why is it that when you come out she says things like, "Oh, this baby is my everything," "This my love," and blah blah blah. You know, i didn't listen to none of that. Cause it's like, once you turn 5, she's gonna find something else to replace you with and it's cold because i was here first above anything else in this world. It's like I'm the last thing on your mind, and to me that's bad parenting and I'm only 13. Once you turn a certain age, your parents split, your dad doesn't wanna come and visit you anymore, you're the last thing on your moms mind when it comes to her job and her poor excuse for a boyfriend, and she'll please your other sibling before she'll come to you about anything. Now what does that sound like to you? Isn't that messed up? You waste your whole life sitting around thinking you and your mom are on good terms, thinking you can, for once, spend a moment where you actually bond with your mother and find the good times that you had.. It hurts. Why should a boyfriend have to ruin a relationship between a mother and daughter, especially if the daughter came before he did? To me, that's real petty because i see where your priorities are at. Then the moms wonder why you spend so much time with your gramma instead of her. LIKE, I KNOW YOU ARE NOT TRYNA GET JEALOUS OVER THIS LITTLE THING. My gramma, [and grampa when he was here] always put me first in their hearts, and i'm not even their own kid! Now tell me who really should be jealous here. On second thought, i would NEVER be jealous that you spend more time with the ugliest, low-down, black crumble with no respect, not even a portion of a man that you call a boyfriend! I know you could have done better..

Todays Thoughts -*I'm #1*

No, I'm not a hater. I think far from jealous, but if i was here first, why am i coming second? First in command. First responsible when you die. First to take charge.. I'm #1, but i come #2 in your life. I was your first child. My sister came last, and so did her father. I'm #1, but the last thing on your mind. It hurts, but you don't care. You ignore my feelings completely. You can care less about my opinions. I see now that your decision is made, great. "I hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone." I don't wanna have anything to do with you. Since i come last, i put myself first. I don't worry about anything but me and my sister. College is right around the corner. Get it out now, cause when I'm gone, I'm gone. When i move out, that's it. Make every moment like it's your last with me. I plan to be successful and be everything you weren't. I plan to out shine you. If i have kids, i plan to be a way better mother than you are to me. I plan to be a better person than you ever were, and make wiser decisions. So take that, and let it marinate. Because no matter what you say, i can't and won't settle for less. I will be #1.

Song Of The Day- *Up All Night*

"Famous like a drug, I've taken too much. I never trip, just peace happiness and love."

Song Of The Day -*Does She Know*

"Does she know what she did? I walk around smellin' her scent, wantin' her lips. And every time i lay down, go to sleep it is you that i see. Wish you'd come to me, cause you're still on my brain. I just can't...I just can't."

Todays Thoughts

OK, so i was on YouTube this morning, and i come across a stupid video. I watch it [while losing every bit of brain cell i had in my cranium] just for the heck of it. It was WAY stupid [a sumo wrestler tryna rap, while his huge man titties (bigger than a grown woman) dangling as he spits], like really? FAIL ! Anyways, i scroll down, read the comments and here we go, "Well, Mr. Obama said we are all family and blah blah blah." Like does anybody really care? Look, not everything has to do with politics. This was just something stupid for the people at home to watch so they can laugh. Why do we have to ruin a perfectly stupid YouTube video with ignorant politic comments? Like really? Come on now... The video was already stupid on its own and you just had to take it a step further. Yes, i love my president, but not everything we do in life is about him. What's next? When we make love, "Stop! Wait. Did President Obama say this is OK. Did he say "Yes We Can!" to this?" Lord, fool! Please, take a seat. I woulda slapped the fool and said, "Why should that matter? Hm, now i see who comes first in this relationship. It's over." Like seriously. I will never have a boyfriend with politic interests, 'cause everything in life would be about that one thing. Sorry readers, i just had to vent with you on this one. But i mean, think about it. Is politics really necessary in every situation? You wanna speak politics, fine! Book yourself a show on CNN that's all I'm sayin'.

Today's Thoughts

When you make me mad, there's no doubt about it. I'm angry. But did you also know that when I'm mad, i don't wanna have anything to do with you? Well, that's how i am. It seems like every time I'm mad at a person, i see signs of them everywhere and that makes me feel guilty. At the same time though, i can really care less because being that I'm stubborn, I'm not gonna forgive you that easily. Make it up to me? You darn skippy you will and I'll make sure of it. You think you're gonna continue to hurt me and I'll let it go, you're sadly mistaken. You have lots to learn about me if you think that's how i roll. I'm the type of person where you please me, or simply don't. And if you don't, like Drake would say, "Show Me A Good Time", cause i just wanna be a free spirit. I don't need you [in general] holding me back. Not any amount of love can hold me back from what I'm striving to be. To be successful, you have to be focused. Only way to do that is to shake everything off your shoulders, including the ones you love, and find your inner focus. But don't stress it though, I'll find you in the future..

Song Of The Day

Shut It Down- Drake ft. The-Dream

Today's Thoughts

You know that feeling when you get worried when you don't talk somebody in over a week? To me, a week feels like months. Then when you let your mind wonder off, and then you think about the worst and possible death. I hate that. We all have a negative patch in our brains and it has you thinking about all the bad things that could happen to a person. Sucks, huh? Yeah, you would think so.. I hate it. When it comes down to me, i could be on lock down and still find a way to talk to all my important people. You know why, cause I'm sneaky. I have ways. I find ways. I'll get up at the crack of dawn, yet still find a way to talk to my mains. That's cause i love y'all. I'm a very dedicated person. And if you ever get caught, that's how you know you're not as sneaky as you thought, huh? Smh, excuses, excuses, but I always find ways. But i guess that's how we all differ from each other, right?

Song Of The Day

"Who knew my home for happiness would soon be misery? Hate that we're so distant girl do you even miss me at all? I guess life ain't no fair..no no noo"


*Black Roses by Trey Songz*

*Happy Birthday Gramma!

Happy Fourth Of July!

Cheers To You Daddy!

You've put me down one too many times
So i think it's about that time i put my feelings into rhymes
You've let my spirits die so many times it hurts
If you felt how i felt, then reality would be vice-versed
I probably made up a new word, who knows?
But you should tell me how this next promise will be ruined and how it goes
If it dies just like our relationship did
You remember that Daddy, back when i was a kid?
When you left me and Mommy when i became a certain age
And how it leads up to now, why I'm filled with so much rage
In our relationship you tried to engage
Would that really be successful, or should i turn another page?
Of life of course, is there a feeling of remorse?
'Cause i can turn over leaves, and construct a new course
Is that what you want?
Do you feel any type of way?
For every promise you break, i should make you pay
It'll add up every bit of cents you owe
All that money in child support, it may make you grow
Not as a person, but maybe as a daddy
If you never really wanted me, you never should've had me
Does this bother you much, or do you even bother?
Because you never meant well, not even as my father...

*Happy Birthday Mommy!

Today's my moms birthday, and i consider her one of the oldest but youngest moms ever! She definitely doesn't look her age, so i consider my mom young. She's good looking, thank God! Her looks depends on me. If she's ugly, I'm ugly.. I look almost exactly like her. I talk like her. Act like her at times. I'm pretty much a younger version of my mom! I love it! I love her. Support her. We go through tough times, but let me tell you, without her and God, i wouldn't be here. So i love her, and trust her when it comes to certain things. She does a great job being a single mother, and raising me wasn't always easy. I was her first born child. She had me at the age of 27. Man, what can i say? She's the reason I'm standing tall today. She, at times, keeps me grounded. She always tells me, "There's nothing in this world that you can't do." She's a great mom, and she always means well. We clash heads sometimes, but that doesn't mean i love her any less. I love you mom, and i hope you have a good one!

Zodiac Sign: Cancer (The Crab)
Element: Water
Ruler: The Moon
Season: Summer
4th Sign of Zodiac
Metal: Silver
Stone: Pearl
Color: White, Yellow
Keywords: Gentle, Conservative, Feeling, Nurturing, DEFENSIVE, CONTEMPLATIVE.

Where We At This Summer?

Beach?North Carolina?Pool?

Shopping?LA?

Florida?

Or...working?

#Happy Birthday Grandpa! 6_29_1928 - 6_15_09 I.L.Y!

Afraid Of Becoming Who I Think I Am

I don't know who i am, or what i am really. I guess you can say I'm finding myself?... People, the outside world, they think they know who i am, or what i can become. What I'm capable of... like they get a vibe, based on my appearance or first impression. Really, i don't know who i am. I see myself as this kid who does things she's not suppose to. A kid who can get into trouble easily by just making 1 or 2 simple mistakes in my life. I fear that 1 day imma do something really bad and my family wouldn't claim me anymore. They don't wanna know this person who has become a shame to the family name. Like God already knows i don't want that to happen. For all that's happened, the bad to all the people i have ever once loved, i think i am the cause of it. I feel like if i would've done something different, things would've or could have done differently. I took a lot of things for granted. So there's a lot of guilt i put upon myself that ways down my shoulders. I carry this weight everywhere i go. I'm not perfect, believe me, nowhere near it. Sometimes i think of myself as a monster. Why do people love a monster? Why do people love...ME? What am i doing that draws people in? Why am i such an attention holder in this world? People try to butter me up all the time telling me how great I am. Well, that's nice, but have you ever stop to think of how i feel about myself? My self-esteem is WAY down. Sometimes i disgust myself. Sometimes i can't even look in the mirror in the morning. I ask myself, "Why do i become this person? How did i get here? Who are you trying to kid? Stop pretending you're something you're not!." I always tell people to keep it 100, keep it real, but I'm the one who's cheating myself... So i want it all to stop. Let's stop moving so fast. Let's take a break. Stop being so grown-up, trust me, i have plenty of time for that in the future. For now, I'm just taking a break. A break should be good for me. A break to find myself. Realize who i am. Realize what my place in this world is. Realize where i fit in here..
...A Break.

MJ Tribute At The BET Awards

Now if you didn't see the BET Awards, you missed one of the greatest and most sincere Michael Jackson tribute yet. Chris Brown is always known for his smooth moves when it's time to hit the dance floor, but we've never seen him in MJ action actually copying his mentor move for move. You knew he put his all in it because when it came down to the last song, "Man In The Mirror", he had a total break down. He cried his heart out on stage to a point where he couldn't sing anymore. Some say it was because he was talking about himself and that he needed to change his ways for what happened over a year ago with former girlfriend Rihanna, but also he cried because MJ was his inspiration to start dancing. And to perform for a person whom is dead and i looked up to...i'd cry too. Chris did a tremendous job working the stage, singing his heart out, and making every person watching him shed a few tears. He should definitely be rewarded for the best performance that night. In my eyes, he is forgiven, not from his performance, but i always loved him. I will always be a Chris Brown supporter.

All That You Need To Know For The Summer

Summer vacation begins! I am super happy and sad, but I'll try to get my mind off it. This summer is looking promising. Plan to travel around somewhat. My thing is..I'm not keepin' in contact with my peoples you know? The important ones anyways... Everybody is so far away, yet so close. I have everything i want, need, and desire now except ONE thing. Something only i know that i need. Nobody else..but i need it. There's just not enough time in the day. I'd like to fast-forward time and stop it at the perfect moments, but i can't. I don't wanna fast-forward or make time go faster if it means I'm that much closer to seeing death. But at the same time, I'm THAT much closer to my happiness and satisfaction. Either way, it's still a walk in Hell.

Question Answer: * You don't need a ring to show that you're engaged. Just as long as you know in your heart that i love you that's all that matters. The ring is for the looks, but it's so much deeper than that...it's the love that counts.

*I don't have to ask to pick the branches if i worked hard to get the tree...

*What's wrong with me? What's not wrong with you?! After all that just went down, you expect me to be normal after that?! Let's be real, that was deep. Real deep. We were so close yet still so far from the unthinkable...




**Happy [6?] B-day Saniah. You're one of the best little cousins i know and have! Love you always...**

Instigatin', Bein' a Birdhead, AND You Straight 3rd & 3rd?! That's the Ultimate Triple Threat Right There!

I'm not gonna lie, we all have done it. Even if it happened once, or every once in a while, we've all instigated. Sure we don't admit to it at times, other times that's your full time occupation, but when you're a instigator AND a birdhead, you know you have a problem. Usually, i don't mess around with 3rd & 3rd hoodrats, but when they get me heated, best believe i can show them my street side too. Don't get it twisted with innocent smile and calm voice, that could easily change into a dirty mouth and yelling like i have no sense type of girl. Don't get me wrong, I'm not uncivilized nor am I a birdhead myself, but when my street/hood side is necessary, i bring it out. Usually I'm calm and well home-trained...but just don't piss me off to a point where i wanna just snap your neck into 2 twigs [and trust me that could easily be done]. [Ha ha] People underestimate my abilities, but when i retaliate or bring one of my overly-sized uncles and/or cousins, it's a wrap for you. And that goes to the people i LOVE too, don't think just cause you're special you're gonna be treated like royalty and get away with stuff other people can't. I'm at that point where I'm done with it all. Piss me off to a point and certain degree, and it's done for you, LITERALLY. So i wouldn't sleep on that. Give it some thought, and when you come up with a proper response, call me. Cause I'm not gonna sit here and be stepped all over because of dumb broads and birdheads. You can trust and believe that.

Quality Time

**Snippet**

.....When i look in your eyes and tell you how much i need you
You kiss my face softly and say "Baby, I believe you"
That's the way quality time should be spent
But instead I'm givin' you up and I don't celebrate Lent
Quality time should be only you and I
But instead, it just flies right by...



**So Original**

Nothing

I guess I'm so used to being a nobody
That when I'm rewarded with good things it doesn't bother me
I try so hard, yet still remain to fail
It's like I'm a prisoner inside my own jail
And don't try to pretend what I'm writing down is good
'Cause if i could do better, please believe that i would
But I'm a total failure, and yes i know this very well
If i was cool like people say i am, my name would ring bell (But does it?)
I would be famous, well-known, possibly successful
Instead of living in crappy reality which is always stressful
I hate the way life turned out
It would've went a different route
I guess I'm stupid for thinking that and I'm living in doubt
You can't turn nothing from nothing and make it something
Since the closer i get to success...

Success keeps running


**So Original**

I'm Done

I hope i make this perfectly clear, i am nothing. Will always be nothing. Go nowhere. Do nothing. Be a nobody. No matter how much i work, i never get rewarded. "Hard work pays off"...does it really? Because if it did, i would be somebody, and go places. Even people below me get the credit that i want and deserve. So now, i don't care anymore. I stop hard work from here. No more thinking i have talent. No more craving the attention. Nothing. I'm done with trying to make something out of my life. I'm going no where so why keep trying?

I'm done now. Period.

Father's Day

Father's Day to me, means NOTHING. My father doesn't give a damn about me. He's drowning in his own guilt fest for not giving his all when it comes to his only daughter, which i can't blame him for. He makes no effort, no interest, and shows no love for me whatsoever. So who cares. Moving right along. Since my real father is nowhere to be found, i have to go upstate to visit the only father i ever really knew. Going to visit my grandfather's grave isn't going to be easy, but it's not that hard either. I feel like, if i don't do it NOW, then when am i gonna do it? Time is of the essence and shouldn't be wasted under any circumstances. I miss him and it's the least i could do. 5 days ago, made it exactly a year that gramps had died. Of course I'm not ready, but i miss him. Love him. And i can't let little things like that hold me back. If my gramma is strong enough then so am i. I mean it's the least i could do... since he's my father.

Well I'm heading out upstate. Happy Father's Day to all the REAL fathers out there!

Tell Me What's Really Goin' On...

So i gotta upload some new rhymes (poems) up on this. I mean, imma average on being a writer. I mean, i try. I was never really good at it, but now i look at it in a whole new light. When i write poems or whatever, it's like I'm writing in a diary. A diary that people could hear or read. It's all my emotions written down on paper. Emotions that i can't tell or explain to you, but i can write it down to where you can understand where i am coming from. That's the way i think of it. So yeah, I'll be uploading some stuff and see what i could hit you with... Tell me what you think 'cause remember I'm just a rookie new to a game.

I Love Both You Guys

Anticipating the horrible symbol for what tomorrows date stands for. I mean, i don't know how I'm gonna deal with it. I can really care less about anybody else. I mean of course i care about my gramma. I don't know how she's gonna deal with it either, but like, me? [Sigh] It'll be hard, 'specially cuz everybody is already on edge and don't wanna deal with my crap. I don't blame them, but don't give me no b.s please. They need to remember i took this the hardest a year ago. Exactly at this time a year ago--I was home, i think. No, scratch that, i was at the hospital. Hearing my grandfather speak his last sentences, breathe his last breaths, hearing his heart beat their last beats. I've never in my life loved someone so strongly as a family member as much as i loved my grandfather. He was truly a remarkable person. So inspiring. Gave good advice and was my backbone for as long as i can remember. I loved him...so much. A year and a day ago, God took his life away due to that terrible disease called cancer. [Smh] Why? A question that will always stand in my life...why did you take his life away? I wanted to tell him that i met a person in my life that makes me just as happy as he does/did. And lemme tell ya, he was waiting quite a while to find something, someone, to make me smile like he made me smile. Someone outside of our family. And i finally did...too bad i can't introduce you guys... I love both you guys...very much. Now y'all can't meet.

I'mma Sugar Coat This...

You ever felt small, but grown at the same time? I feel like that all the time. I think I'm old enough to do certain things (hem Eric Jerome dickey man), but i live by the rules and all that. I live everyday of my life thinking I'm old enough..but, then again, at the same time, I'm still only a teenager. Which sucks eggs. See, other people have experimented and went out there and done the things that only my mind knows what i wanna do. I don't have the boobs to do it. First of all, imma stay the age i am. Second, i take my time. Let time heal it, but best believe when the future rolls around, and I'm sugar coating this, I'm taking it all down step by step...just like how the Twin Towers fell baby already sno. I'm not a freak. I'm at that stage, just putting it out there. Let that be known. It's not what you think...I'm speaking in code so the one who knows...can understand where I'm coming from. Now how much do you love me?


**Take My Time**

On to New Beginnings?

Was good? Haven't been on here in a minute, but look, gotta lot of ish goin' on. So i just moved, check it out, it's dope! I should invite YOU to come over some day. Live right near Wilson Woods. 2 houses down from Ms. Watson. 5 houses down from David and a block away from Xavier. Quiet neighborhood, i like it. So that was the good news..The bad news is my mom is blinded by this thing called "love". Now if I should know anything about love it's that you don't let it control you, better yet, blind you. You stuck on a guy who does nothing for you. Nothing for us. He calls me his "daughter" but unless you put a ring on my moms finger that's not gonna happen. Sure having a REAL father for once would be nice, but not if i dislike you to the nth power. It's not a good look for you. Thought i kicked you out, but somehow you found yourself back in, but by a thin crack in the wall so don't get too happy and besides yourself.
My dad figures that when i pick up information about him from other people, it makes him of being a father just a little more easier to his liking. Uh, WEAK. Who geed you father dearest? Because imma sugar coat this lightly..and even dumb this one down for you. YAZZY NO LIKE WHEN YOU PLAY HER. FOR SHE ONLY GETS ANGRIER BY THE DAY. End of the discussion. So yeah, pops figure he wanna live with my gramma...-that's fine-but in Puerto Rico?! I know you not smokin' crack now father now are we? Let's be real. And what "aroused these actions to take place?" ;-) No but seriously..what are you smoking? Do what you want, but we have NO family relations what so ever anymore. Good bye, end of discussion. Love you!
On Tuesday, it'll be exactly a year that my great-grandfather (Papa/my only real daddy) had died. I've been feeling really religious lately. Been reading the Bible every night before bed (on Exodus 2) to enhance my religion (Christian/Episcopalian). Don't go to church like i should..so i pay my dues by reading the Bible and praying asking God-the almighty Lord himself- why he took my grandfathers life away. I guess we all gotta go sometimes...

My Smiley..Swaggalicious Smiley. Thanks for the book by the way! I love it! Ayanna scares me in the worst way possible and just to let you know, you exposed me to so much things..expect me to express myself the next time i see you. Love you as always and no need to sugar coat the obvious (you know what i mean).

Me. Yazzy Wazzy. Sexy YazzyBear. Young YazzTack. Hey. (Cute giggle) Nah but really, I'm hangin' in there. I'm readin' like 3 different books at 1 time (readin' on 10th grade level YUP!) Social life (youuuu knowww) yeah I'm good in that department. Hahaha. And I'm straight mackin' at my crib.

#On to new beginnings..

**Toy Story 2**
**Eric Jerome Dickey/Between Lovers**
**Missin' the Swaggalicious Smiley!**

Jealousy...And This Is Why

I guess jealousy is something i can never admit to anyone, but can't you see it in my face? Of course i lie to cover it up, it's what i do. My facial expressions is the key and answer to any question you have for me. Actions speak louder than words always remember that. A lot of things can trigger and just to name a couple..

-When you talk about the person long enough to a point where i feel like you totally forgot about me, that's when i get jealous. I feel like you care more about that person than me.

-When you get excited when that persons name comes up. Like since when? So now i have to watch this excitement of yours and turn it down a couple of notches just because you can't handle yourself.

Iight so lemme say this... I'm not the type of person to do any of those things, at least not on purpose. I guess i get extra tight when people do things like this because I've been forgotten about before-and trust me, more than once. It doesn't feel good. You feel unimportant to certain people ya know? I try to prevent it before it happens to let you know it bothers me. But just remember, the love is always stronger than any action that may occur on me. No matter what, i will always love you [in general].






**Bad Girl**

Addiction

"Why everything that's suppose to be bad make me feel so good? Everything they told me not to is exactly what i would. Man i tried to stop man, i tried the best i could but...it makes me smile" =D

Throwback classic

**Addiction**
by Kanye West

Don't Worry 'Bout It, Just Keep Ya Head Up

OK, so i know me and most of besties are going through some things, so lemme just clarify this one thing, y'all just gotta keep ya head up..

-Smiley: You already know i know what you be going through. It is what it is, you can't do much, but stand by and watch it happen. You get treated unfairly and like crap, alladat, but don't end up doing things that you'll regret. I'm here for you, you know that. If you ever need a backbone to lean on for support, I'm here for ya..

-Devonnia: Caught in this freakish love triangle, i know, i know. Been there, done that. We all know you still have feelings for Russell, we can all see it, it's obvious! But at the same time, you realized you've somehow moved on and developed some feelings for Justin. I mean you guys bicker like y'all siblings. Ya ll mess around with each all the time, who wouldn't have seen you guys secretly love each other? Hang in there, and decide if Russell is really worth your time because remember, he goes out with Angel, even though Angel goes out with our sis Aliyah. I know..they're having a 3 way. [gross, but it's exactly what i expect from AA] Who knows if Russell knows this small detail or not? Anyways, keep ya head.

-Me: Doing me as usual. On my regular status. Moving into a new, bigger place and best believe i can invite people over my house now! Cousin Jenaya may be staying for the summer, so I'm looking forward to that! So I'm definitely keeping my head up. Trying not to think about the fact that I'm in the month of June because we all know this is the worst month of the year..

Point is, yall just keep ya head up. School is ending soon and can't worry bout the little things in life. Stay cool, calm, and collective and remember that i love y'all.

No Time To Waste

I had a blast today! Barely any classes, chilling with the mains, and pure entertainment. We need more days like this. Looking back on this week, it wasn't the best and i realized that i haven't been or acted the best, but hey, I'm trying. When you're tired all the time, irritated down to the core and have so many responsibilities, wouldn't you act the same way? Especially the fact that i get NO SLEEP what so ever, it's not a good feeling. I must say, at times i feel like i wanna be left alone, but that doesn't mean i love anybody any less. I'm just having a moment.. It's funny because then you say I'M sensitive, which i am just not nearly as bad as half of y'all out there. Ya ll swear y'all low, but the fact of the matter is you're not. So continue to "keep things on the d.l." because by that time, the whole world can see right through you. We know what y'all be doing through the naked eye.. So there's no time to waste on things that are not essential. I like the finer things in life, how about you?

Make It Work by Ne-Yo

You understand me at least you say you do
Lately that's enough for me
Looking for perfect surrounded by artificial
You're the closest thing to real i see

Sure everyone has their problems, that's a given
Yours are the easiest to tolerate
This wasn't what we we were wanting, how we're living
But let's take this good enough and turn it to great, baby understand

This can only be as good as we both make it
Yes, sometimes it's gonna hurt
Yes, sometimes it's gonna hurt
We can be as happy as we want to be, girl
But we gotta make it work

We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh

Sometimes i love you more than you'll ever know
Other times you get on my nerves
Hey, that's just reality, no, it can't always be
Kisses, hugs and beautiful words

You was looking for your prince, what you found
Is a pauper with potential
And no, I'm nowhere near perfect but I'm around
Girl, time and patience is essential, baby realize

This can only be as good as we both make it
Yes, sometimes it's gonna hurt
Yes, sometimes it's gonna hurt
Hey, we can be as happy as we want to be, girl
But we gotta make it work

We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh

Thick and thin
The bad outweighs the good sometimes
That doesn't mean we're supposed to give it up
My problems are yours and yours are mine

This can only be as good as we both make it
Yes, sometimes it's gonna hurt
Yes, sometimes it's gonna hurt
Hey, we can be as happy as we want to be, girl
But we gotta make it work

We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh
We gotta make it work, ay oh ay oh oh

Sooner Than Later by Drake

I forgot to call you on your birthday
You swear you're the last thing on my mind, yeah
There is nothing i can do to fix it
All you ever asked me for was time

When the lights don't glow the same way that they used to
And i finally get a moment to myself
I will realize you were everything i'm missing
And you tell you're in love with someone else

So can you do me a favor if i pull it together
Make it sooner than later, we won't be here forever
And i realize i waited to know
But please don't move on

You don't need no one else
You don't need no one else, oh
You don't need no one else
You don't need no one else, oh
You don't need no one else

You just changed your hair and it looks perfect
Wish i was the first to let you know
Every chance i get to make it better
I just find a way to let it go

When the lights don't glow the same way that they used to
And i finally get a moment to myself
I will realize you were everything i'm missing
And you tell me you're in love with someone else

So can you do me a favor if i pull it together
Make it sooner than later, we won't be here forever
And i realize i waited to know
But please don't move on

You don't need no one else
You don't need no one else, oh
You don't need no one else
You don't need no one else, oh
 You don't need no one else

The girl or the world, you see someone gotta lose
I thought i could have it all, do i really gotta choose
What good is all the cash if it doesn't buy time
And what good is bein' famous if i'm never on your mind

Nights fallen, light glowing
And i'm just tryna pay the price owing
And i don't wanna feel the comfort of my ice showing
And i ain't tryna be without you at the right moments

N*gga, nice goin', is it worth it, that dicision
'Cause hearts break and i ain't tryna be in that collision
So I'ma dust my shirts and fix my pants
'Cause i gotta look good, girl, if this my chance, i swear

So can you do me a favor if i pull it together
Make it sooner than later, we won't be here forever
And i realize i waited to know
But please don't move on

You don't need no one else
You don't need no one else, oh
You don't need no one else
You don't need no one else, oh
You don't need no one else

Brand New by Drake

This here is on some truthful sh*t
It seems like everything i do you're used to it
And i hate hearing stories 'bout who you've been with
That's when i gotta hide what i'm feeling inside

So you still think i'm confident and damn
Is this gonna last? You're still up on a pedestal
Are we moving too fast?
Feel like i'm in crazy competition with the past
That's why i gotta ask

Is anything i'm doing brand new?
Brand new, brand new
Is anything i'm doing brand new?
Brand new, brand new, brand new, oh

This here is something personal
Highly doubt this feeling is reversible
Knowledge is pain and that is why it hurts to know
That you attempt to hide and put mistakes aside

So i don't ever question you and damn
I can't even find the perfect brush
So i can paint what's going through my mind
Racing against myself but i'm a couple steps behind
That's why i gotta ask

Is anything i'm doing brand new?
Brand new, brand new
Is anything i'm doing brand new?
Brand new, brand new, brand new oh

Is anything i'm doing brand new?
No no no no no
Is everything i'm doing too late?
Late late late late

Did he take your clothes off just like this?
Did he give you loving just like this?
Did you spend the night in his bed on the very first date?
Tell me baby am i too late?


Is anything i'm doing brand new?
Brand new, brand new
Show me if this is brand new
Oh yeah yeah yeah

What's Happening To Me?

Hot as hell today. [right now it's about 91] Ok, so i really don't know where i stand as...i don't know, myself. I don't feel like myself anymore, like i don't know what's happening to me. Imma be honest, i strongly dislike my life with a passion. I don't like the way anything is going. Everything i say is wrong. I state an opinion, it's wrong [even though we're entitled to it]. Like what is the problem? I feel irritated an on edge every second of the day, and looks to be very unhealthy. Like i feel little as to no love anymore and it scares me. I'm starting not to care, not to be believe in me [or anyone else]..like since when? Where's the confidence gone? I've never felt like this, and i can't seem to find the source to the problem. As Mr. Pearce says, "Find the full solution." But where? I can't seem to find it, but yet, this issue is eating me alive. What's happening to me?..

Which One's Your Favorite?

Let's Keep It Real! Yall Need To Hear This..

Inna bad mood, so excuse my vibes.----- This day is just really dragging. I'm tired of the continuous complaining, and nagging, and hearing how i can be a better person, or how i have so many issues. You know, just hop off my life and search for one of your own, iite? Since when has anyone ever really give a damn about me? I'm not anybody important, a person who can easily be be erased and replaced, my famous phrase.. Get out of my life already. Stop acting like you love me or care because the best thing you can do is leave. Leave me like my father has and still does. Leave like my grandfather left me back in June 2009. Just go, and i hope the door hits you on the way out. I want my problems to just go away and vanish. Fall off the face of the Earth. Leave. Let me make things right. On a seperate note..
FACT: If i say there's nothing wrong and clearly there is..just leave it alone. Obviously i'm not wishing to share it with you because it's nothing for you to worry about and that's in general.
Like everybody does that to me. Just leave me alone to think about MY problems. Everybody just wants to be involved and i feel like it's a waste of my breath to retell a story that quite frankly, i don't feel like talking about! Just leave it. Simple.
FACT: Everybody that i know gets angry over the simplest little things.
Why? Because you're not getting your way? Is that it? Aww well get over it toots. It's time to slip off the pull-ups and step into some panties and boxers because you're a big kid now. I handle situations as if i'm the bigger person which in most cases, i am. I threw off the pull-ups long time ago. Got them grown woman panties on now. Well, now it's your turn! Maturity is a big key in life and is a vital asset to your social life.


Point blank, period, end of story, thanks for shopping, & come again!
Don't like it? Funny, because i didn't ask you what you liked, did i? It's what yall need to hear. Person to Person.

KEEP IT LOCKED!

I've been busy lately rather it's chilling with my boo, or into my school work, but you know how it is. Like the title it says, KEEP IT LOCKED because a lot of things will be coming your way soon, just give me some time and i'll give yall what yall been waiting for..

My skinnies stay skinny like i starve my fabric. "Like omg, why ya jeans so tight?!"
Psh, they like cricketz to me. :-P

*I rock skinnies, and Polo's*

Stay Tuned!

Coming up with some beats, which reminds me, i have band tomorrow! [Random] I wish i had two periods of band, so i can work on my percussion beats. Since i'm not allowed in the studio anymore [sigh], i'm on my own making music but they missing out on my major rappin skills. Thats ok though, TyTy gonna let me in his studio soon. He's heard my sample freestyle so he know what i'm about. Tryna get my bestie/my smiley on a track cause thats what we do & how we be doing it. I mean, i sing cause i got the triple threat, but i'm shy when it comes to singing. I mean, you have to be with me in the car or stand near my bathroom door when i'm in the shower to hear my beautiful voice. But if you're special enough, i can make an exception. Yes, we are gonna be famous possibly. Until then, imma keep writing songs and making beats. But stay tuned!

Bestest, you be my ride or die. :-*



**New Song Coming Soon** Keep it locked, forever cuffed!

Freestylin'

See i'll do it for you, if you did it for me
Today we was macking underneath a shaded tree
Waiting till the big hand reached the three..
And then you called your cab and left me be
Knowing that i wouldn't see you till the next day
My heart sunk down and the feeling went away
I wanna "Be Where You Are", as Trey would say
But we can't for we both went our seperate ways
Baby, you didn't really know that i could rap
But i gee'd you and you fell for my trap
Yeah, i knew that line would make you laugh
In school, you'll probably find a way to get me back
But that's ok, see, you love me anyway
It's just this silly game that i love to play
I hope you play too, if that's ok
Fallin in love with you more..day by day


**First freestyle**
Tell me if i'm good at this, and be honest!

Bran Nu

Look for Brandy's alter ego "Bran Nu" new to the rap scene. It's basically Brandy finding that inner rapper within her. So check her out on Timbaland's new album, The Shock Value II. She's featured in songs such as:

Meet in Tha Middle
&
Symphony

Also check out her new show on VH1 called Brandy and Ray J: The Family Business. Dope show.

Birthdays to Tests

I'm not sure what to blog about today. Just checking in with my peoples. Seeing what's good. State test tomorrow, thinking about spending my time after school with you know who.. The last time was something special, i think we actually started bonding and connecting and got that alone time that we needed. Oh yeah! Quick before i forget, happy birthday wishes goes out to my little cousin in VA. Enjoy your 8th birthday Niq Niq! Love you babe! And happy 21 birthday goes out to my other "hubby" Chris Brown! Hold it down bruh and "take your time" for me and the wifey haha! So i think that's about it, that was an innie by the way.. Writing a song later, might post it. So look out for that, and wish me tomorrow on that math state test.

11.17 Babes will always be ^
Cousin Niq^
C Breezy^
VA^
Mr. Pearce^

May Already?!

It's May, and you may know, this is not the best month in the world. For one thing, it's the month before June and we all know June is total chaos for me and the fam. May... let's see. Niquans (little cousin in VA^) birthday on the 5th he'll be 8 along with Chris Brown's he'll be 21. State test the 6th and the 7th. Gramma and Grandpa's anniversary the 22 :'(. They've been married for over 40 years, I can only imagine how depressed she'll be that day. Plus, their anniversary is on my grandpa's moms birthday so double that depression. Then the family photo on the 30th so we have the cousins driving in from Va^, Ohio, and allat. [Sigh] How can we take it? I have a lot not to look forward to, and the time won't be slowing down. My family can't settle down. I can't settle down. We're all on edge and the month just started.. What to do now?
S.O.S

Anthony hang in there cousin! Remember, you have 3 children to support and a family that loves you, don't give up on us now..

Lyrics!!!!!

If i'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well i guess i'll make my own way
It's a circle
A mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge, but i guess if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same no, oh, we're not the same
Yeah, the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But i guess you can't accept that the change is good, hey
It's good, hey
It's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
It's nice to meet you sir
I guess i'll go
I best me on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
It's nice to meet you sir
I guess i'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

And this is the best thing that could've happend
Any longer and i wouldn't have made it
It's not war no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now i can fend for myself


**Ignorance by Paramore**
Deepest and the most straight-forward lyrics of my time.
To: The birdheads, the haters, my family from time to time, just remember ignorance is your bestie!
P.S, We're not the same. Now i can fend for myself..

Get Me in the Studio!

You see i'm better than the rest
Baby i'm the best
Said goodbye to you, so now she's on to the next
Why even try?
You gonna get rejected, let's hear it (bye bye)


See that? That was a beautiful freestyle. Smh... Get me in a studio! If i worked hard enough, i could probably pull it off. Hmm, should i add more to that? ..Wait


Can't take me because i'm already taken
Tryna talk me out, but in ya shoes yall shaken
I turned the other way, and you can never have me back
I sliced up your plans, and stopped you in your tracks
Gotta baby on my side who know's how it ride it well
And all you other haters could see your way to hell
Its Miss Yazzy Baby taking over your channel
And all the birdheads know that i'm too hot to handle!

Now i'm not much of a songwriter, but you gotta admit that was dope. I didn't write that down either, just a freestyle..

The Price of Life..Value or Trash It?

I don't really try to be anything, or anyone important. I usually just go out to get things done, and cut to my prolonged future of fame, fortune, and finding love.. Really i could be anything i wanted if i tried hard enough, but for right now i want to settle down and be a kid or teen. Remember the steps in life:
Stay in school..
Don't do drugs. (alcohol is exceptable though)
Be as happy as you want..
Ignore the sheer ignorance you get from everyday people...
Certain people keep you alive everyday
And please, please, please, please.........................


STAY AWAY FROM THE BLUE WAFFLE!

                          -Words from Miss Yazzy Baby, but the Baby D.E.W
Motto: "You get it from the back, make the freaking bra strap pop. All up in ya slot till ya mammi hit the jackpot" Oh Yes!..From Drake's best i ever had, but i remixed it. =)

My Today...

[What's happening now, how was my day?] Somewhat normal day today. Had sensations way too early this morning, first period to be exact. In health, my teacher Mr. Ruth let one go VERY loudly and acted like nothing happened. How crazy was that? Saw T Star on the walk home. Smh. So yeah, a pretty average day i suppose.
TIPS: NEVER wear skinny jeans in 70 degree weather. My skinnies were sticking to my thighs like...never mind. =P Youuu knowww! haha
My Quotes of the Day: "Never start a battle with me if you can't win the war."
"The peace sign is just the trigger and the middle finger"
"My lips so sick caramel, wanna try it?" haha Eve^

Did It Just Reach 90 Out Here?!

{Finished homework} In case you were wondering... Like it reached the high of 91 degrees today people, and spring just begun! Wow, this is some pool stuff right here. Why wasn't it like this at the dude ranch? Psh, man i don't know, but it's lovely weather we are having up here in NY baby! Tryna break out the shorts for tomorrow and all that. But we'll see. Let's keep the good times rolling!
*PS* Advice Tip: Never wear double BLACK t-shirts on a hot day. Ouch! Skin will be baked!
Spring as to Summer. ^Either way^

Not Interested

I don't know how people deal with this kind of stuff. I say i'm taken, but people are persistant with this whole flirting thing. I get it, you like me-most people do, but some guys go too far. It's kind of annoying too. Like i'm not interested in you, plus you try way to hard to impress me. Take it from certain people, you impress me by doing you. Be yourself and kill it, then i'll consider taking it further. At this very moment, i don't need a hubby because i already have one. And that person is the best! (Miss Ya) So stop trying to be with me. Funny thing, yall don't know a thing about me. You like me for my physical attraction, but the hubby love me for me. And that difference will always remain.

Love is the Reason I'm Alive

The only thing i got keepin me alive is love. All kinds of it. Some people have more of my heart than others. I got some things going on now that is just too much to handle, but i'm dealing with it. The worst things happens to the best of us, but all i can do now is trust and believe in myself. Stay strong and brave to those that need me the most like my bestest, and my mom. It's so hard, but when it comes to school, i gotta slap that beautiful smile back on like everything is ok. Do you have any idea how hard that is? Because inside there is still this little girl crying her eyes out wondering when will daddy come home? Inside there's a little girl not knowing what life holds in store for her in the future. Helpless little girl. That little girl...is me. And inside i never know what path to take, or where to turn. Everything just seems like a dead end to me. This little girl, me...is tryna find her way. What will be at the end of my path?

Dedicated to You...Courtesy of CB

I enjoy you I never want to see you leave girl You made my life so complete and I don't want to move too fast no 'Cause you're too special I really love the way (I do) You make me feel inside you wonder why my spirit is so happy You touched my heart Every part Whenever you speak to me I love what we have going on I may never find another one like you For me I have no worries Once i step into your presences You have a way of helping me See that everything's OK What else can I say? ** We started out Saying (saying) That we would just be friends But special feelings Have arisen What are we suppose to do now Here in the mean while? I really love the way (I do) You make me feel inside you wonder why my spirite is happy 'Cause you came in And changed the meaning Of a true friend And this just the beginning You touched my heart Every part Whenever you speak to me I love what we have going on I may never find another one like you for me **I may never find another one like you for me** **I may never find another one like you for me** **I may never find another one like you for me** <3>

I Love You

Words can't even begin to express how i feel right now. Hold up *put my nerd specks on* ok that's better. I really mean it this time, why am i living? For my family? No. To change the world? Not hardly. I'm living because i love someone. I gave my heart to you November 17, 2008 and if i stopped it from beating, I'll be killing you too. I really don't care who can see this because i have to get this out...Baby, i love you more than you know. "You're too young to be feeling like this", "What you know about love?", "You too young to be in a relationship." That right there is what i get from the people who "love" me. What more can i do, but flick them off right? People can't tell me what my heart wants, and I'll be damned if they do. I'm forced to love certain things such as my family, or something like that. But how about thinking outside the box for a minute? Can't you find love somewhere else other than in your own home? I really didn't think i would end up with you after all these years, but you are always full of surprises. You mean so much to me, you DO so much for me. You know, i see the way you get treated and how you get bagged on and stuff. That's not me and it will never be me. I'm that person that will make you feel better when your mom laughs in your face. You can always talk to me, lean on me, or cry on me if you need to. And even if i can't find the words to make you feel better, what more can i say but i love you. I will always love you. I look past your flaws, and look into your inner beauty. You're beautiful, love. No matter what they say, you will always be beautiful. They'll put you down, but I'll always bring you up. Let them say what they want, but i bet they will never have a person like me...Ily :-*

Let the Picture Do the Speaking

When i find the words to tell you how i feel, I'll let you know.

Spring Break. . .Starts Now

Ughhh. Why do i hate spring break so much? I hate being away from certain people. It just dawned on me that you had said, "{Sigh} I miss you, it's not like how it was at Lincoln when there was no way of avoiding you. You were always there." Yep, that was a direct quote. Omg, you are SO right! I miss you so much. I hate being away from you which is why i walk you to class sometimes or something like that. Am i obsessed, or is this what it is? This really bites. Its funny how in 6th grade we were so sure we were gonna be in the same classes, like we knew our schedules right off that bat. I can't even begin to tell you how off we were! Omg. . .and I'm losing my sanity! I can't stay sane when I'm away from you. I'm so abnormal and anti-social it's not even funny. It's like i lose all my feeling when I'm away from you. "Why does every hello end with a goodbye?" Demi is right. . .why does it have to be that way? Why?

Cheating Secrets. . .

What if you knew something, a secret that you weren't supposed to know and if you told it, it could possibly sabotage a person you love? Hm, well i have that sort of sitch right now. I know secrets from two individuals in my life, and if i were to bellow it out, they would be done. To tell the truth, that's exactly what i want to happen. I've known this dude for about 8 or 9 years now and i think it's about that time for him to go. I haven't liked him since day 1, but should i erase him from my thoughts by hurting my mom? It isn't like she isn't hurting already, but i don't wanna see her hurt completely all the way to the core over some guy who doesn't treat her right. Put it this way, you both cheated. You both stretched the boundaries completely too far and right in front of my face nonetheless! But still, when the time is right, I'll speak up. I just feel so powerful as of right now. I have the power to end something that should have ended 8 years ago when i was 4.

Tech Decks^

If you're cool, you'll have one..=)

On the Real..Haters No Comment

Your request said that you wanted me to blog today, so i will. I'm like in outer space right now fanting like never before. The future...i want to happen so bad. Highly anticipating for my prolonged future to be set in place. Wouldn't it just be nice though. Alright so I'm gonna have either a purple or electric blue car (not sure what kind). Imma have this real sexy apartment, flat screen, odee furniture, a puppy named Bubbles (Yorkie), and a queen sized bed. Yes boss sounds nice! I'm in such a weird mood though. On one hand I'm angry because..Well where do i start really? I HATE it when people try to feel up on Smiley. I know she a 5 star chick and all that but no. First of all it's repulsive to us girls when you go around feeling on our butt and boobs. Second that's my bestest, what is wrong with you? Third...they're not yours. I don't know. Yes, i have a jealousy problem, and yes I'm short tempered, but there are things that just makes my veins pop and my blood boil. Then you made her cry you jackazz what is wrong with you. I don't understand people sometimes. What confuses me is that ya parents can hate me, but I'm not even half bad! Like really I'm an angel compared to the boys in my school. Psh, well buff it. Hate me for all i care. But lemme tell you something, if i make a person happy and I'm one of the best things that can happen to a person, you would have to admit that I'm not really bad. You caught me at a bad moment, and? You act like it's the end of the world. And for the record i hate you too, but why give her hell for it? So damn naive, paranoid, and childish. Like grow up. Adults act like they never been this age before. Grow up. I love your kid rather you like it or not. And just because you finally see her happy, you shouldn't have to bring Smiles down because of me..Put that in your pipe and smoke it. I've always wanted to get that off my chest. Say what you want, but when i find love i know it. Buff my piece haters if you gotta problem with this.

Weak-SWV^^^^^^ Our Song

Wow.. I really can't believe that you're singing Weak, especially for me! What? First off, lemme start off by saying that it's an honor for me to be your inspiration. I love the fact that when you hear that song you think of me. I'm amazed that you wanna go in front of all of our piers and everything just for me. I don't want you to be nervous either, just surround me in your thoughts as always and I'll be right there. And if anybody should feel a certain way, that should be me, being that it's about me. I may or may not cry we'll see. But I'll definitely be smiling the whole entire time.. And after if this really goes down, i owe you big time! Smiley^ You already sno. So i'm outie {playing Weak right now stat}

And The Award Goes to..

I don't think any of it will ever end. Why do people find that talking about me is the only way to solve their problems? OK first, NEVER talk about me when you haven't looked at yourself first. Because compared to me..you're nothing but a bottom feeder, you will NEVER be on my level. You get that? Why? My life is not all peaches and cream (112 jam) like some people think it is. My life is the hardest it's ever been and it won't be getting any easier, but i don't find talking about other people amusing. Not only were my feelings crushed, my Smiley trusted you to do the right thing. She was one of the little besties that you had and you let her down by talking about me the way that you did. And you should already sno when you become between me and Smiley, something has to be done! So yes, i dedicate this blog to you T'Nia! Congratulations, you earned it bottom feeder! I'm done playing games with you. You've officially been chopped & screwed-D.E.W and Smiley style. ILY baby {inny widda mamii}

Nicki Minaj-Take 1...ACTION!

• I keep a couple ho-s like Santa i keep a vixon, got that dasher dancer prancer dixon comet cupid donner BLITZEN! I'm hotter than 100 degrees. A lot of bread, no sesame seeds. If i'm in yo city i'm signin them Tig-O-Bitties. I'm plottin on how i can take Cassie away from Diddy. Them girls wanna Minaj, yeah they wetter than the rain then. Usher buzz me in, everybody loves Raymond!
• This ain't the next b-tch tell that b-tch fall back.
• We break like tacos, Roscoe on his knees with the snot nose.
• Flyer than a kite, i get higher than Rapunzel.
• They be thinking they can spit shine my shoes, you know i keep a bad b-tch lemme sign ya boobs.
• He pressing me like button downs on a Friday night hehehe. I'm so pretty like, he on my pedal bike, he on my low skirts, he on my edgar whites. They say Nicki don't stop u da bestest, and i just be coming off da top as bestest.
• Young Money red flag no more auditions, ask Lil Wayne who the 5 star b-tch is!
• LOL =) have a nicer day! Pop pop pop, there goes my rubberband. So stop stop stop sniffing that countraband. Cause you was penny pinchin my accounts laced. Attention! About face!

Gossiping + Backstabbing x Drama = Middle School

Like for real though, does EVERYBODY have a problem with me? I come back from an extended snow day and a weekend for this BS?! Psh, yeah right. Ya wanna hear something historical about this, NOBODY had the balls to get up and confront me about any problem they have with me. Sometimes i think they just jealous cuz it's the simple fact that..

1. I'm not a bird-head (BTW! I saw Talia today XD)
2. I don't get my clothes from the Ave.
3. I can get any boy to melt in my hand WITHOUT trying as hard as they do.
4. Couple of 8th grade boys like my a** better than theirs! =p

(MOST OBVIOUS WELL SOUGHT THING IN THE WORLD!) I look 10xx better than yall do =D

And i got SPECIAL PEEPS holdin me down so what's really good?! So all yall b*tches better listen and listen up GOOD cuz i'm not gonna repeat myself....YazzTack is in the building i can fight so what yall really want? Tired of b*tches always on my meat about BS. Wait, get yall selves a life first, then maybe i might think TWICE next time about me fighting you. And dats swerd to ya mama's =D. Btw-----ILY Babessss to the 10th power!!!